There are certain moments in life
that will dictate your path. Moments that have the potential to irreversibly
change your future. The 17th of August 2014 should have been one of
those moments for me. Everything was perfect, the course, the weather. My
friends and family had arrived and were enjoying the sights of Zurich. My three
teammates on the marathon team were fit and healthy and we were going in with
the realistic possibility of picking up a team medal. I knew everything to know
about the course. I had visualised every hill and turn a thousand times and
more. And yet, it wasn’t to be. It’s been said many times before but never have
I been so acutely aware that running truly is a cruel sport.
My troubles started on the 27th
July, a week before the Commonwealths. After missing most of the months of May
and June with injury, it was always going to be an uphill task to be ready in
time for the marathon. When I finally got over the injury at the end of June, I
sat down with my coach, Andy, and we decided that we would still keep trying
for the marathon. However, with limited time, there was no option but to
increase the milage and training dramatically. It was a risk that we were both
willing to take and we knew that the risk of subsequent injury was high. Fitness
was coming back quicker than we both imagined and the belief of winning the
Zurich marathon was returning.
I woke up on Sunday morning, five
days before the Commonwealths, feeling fresh and ready to tackle the hard,
hilly twenty miles that lay ahead. With my ex training partner Ben Whitby
screaming at me on the bike, I tore up Richmond Park. The first ten was a
leisurely 55mins followed by the next ten in 50mins. I finished strong,
comfortable and happy. I was back to a standard of fitness where I could
potentially perform well in races. After some grub I crawled into bed, glad to
be finished for the day. An hour later, while I was getting up from my sleepy
haze, as I put my foot down, I felt pain. Not muscular tiredness, not a niggling
pain but real pain. As much as I stretched that evening the pain in my hip
didn’t ease. However, with the Commonwealths only a few days away I tried to
put it to the back of my mind.
Warming up at the Glasgow track I
knew things still weren’t right but training had gone decent enough during the
week and I knew that I could run through the pain. With the adrenaline pumping and
the crowds cheering I completed the twenty-five laps of the track, an
experience that I will never forget. I would like to have been competitive but
my focus was the marathon and due to the injuries, the fitness quite simply
wasn’t there. On the two mile jog after I knew something was seriously up, it
was painful to put any amount of pressure through my right leg. Not ideal
sixteen days prior to a marathon.
The following day an ultrasound
and MRI both revealed nothing major of note. With the thinking that it was
simply an inflamed tendon, I was told that I could keep training through and
while it would be painful, I wouldn’t do any further damage. So that’s what I
did. You don’t have to tell a runner twice that he can train if he wants to. I
ran, I did sessions, but the pain was constantly there. With seven days to go
to the marathon I had my last hard session, three by 5k with 2min break. I
started with a 15.40 to ease me into things, a slightly quicker 14.50 for the
second one, followed by a 15.30 third one, by which time I was curled up in
agony. There would be no warm down that day as I hobbled back home. The pain
had become excruciating, the sort of pain that makes you want to scream out
loudly. The next day I got in for another ultrasound and steroid injection into
the hip. I was advised to stay off my feet for as long as possible. And so,
that’s how I spent my week leading up to the marathon, lying on my living room
floor, stretching and alternating between icing and hot water bottles. Needless
to say, it was not ideal preparation but I knew I was fit, if only my hip would
allow me to run.
When I got to Zurich, the
excitement was building around the marathon, this was my opportunity to do
something special. But my hip still had other ideas. Two days out, I tried to
jog for the first time since the injection. Following two miles at 5.20s I was
doubled over with pain. As I got back to the team hotel, I texted my coach
asking what should I do, is there much point even starting. I think that once
you begin to ask those questions, then you already know the answer. I tried to
jog the next day and after about 800m I knew it wasn’t to be. I walked back to
the hotel and tried to come to terms with the reality that I wouldn’t be
competing. With Kevin Seaward, Sean Hehir and Thomas Frazer still having to
compete the next day I made myself scarce, the last thing anyone wants before a
marathon is someone injured hanging around. And so with my family and friends
having flown over that morning to watch the race, I went and had dinner with
them.
The following morning, I was on
the athlete bus to the startline. It was such a surreal experience. I was
surrounded by tension and yet I was completely relaxed. The temptation was so
great just to throw on a pair of shorts and try to run but I knew it would have
been pointless. Instead of running to victory and a new pb, I was handing out
the water bottles to the team. They all had great runs and solid performances
but for me, it will always be a day of what might have been. I got a second MRI
the day I got back from Zurich. It revealed a labral tear in my hip. With
conservative management being the mainstay of treatment I haven’t been able to
do any training since the marathon.
And that’s where I am now, back
in Belfast, working in A+E again. Medicine is something that I have grown to
love and the work is both interesting and enjoyable. But part of me will always
wish to be out there training, pushing myself to the limit. Rehab is coming
along slowly and with an injury such as a labral tear, being patient is the key.
Hopefully, however, with a bit of luck, I might soon be able to get back to
doing the thing I love, running and racing. The past month hasn’t been great in
terms of running but one thing that has come out of it, I am hungry. It will
take me a few months to get back to where I want to be but when I do, I’m ready
to fight, I’m ready to run hard, and hopefully with a bit of luck, I’ll finally
be ready to win.
